Forgetting your first time (and line) (Mistake #47)

The Easter pause gave me cause for reflection, and I slipped into daydreaming about my career path – where I’d been, where I was, where I was going. But mostly it was about where I’d started. I’d started with a story for a free London magazine for office workers in the mid-nineties. At the time, …

Do you want hyphens with that, sir? (Mistake #44)

Meet Rustic farmer Ben, presently ubiquitous on London’s transport system, and probably far beyond. He’s not rustic farmer Ben, which would be fine, or Rustic Farmer Ben, which would also be fine, if a little self-aggrandising, but Rustic farmer Ben, which is plain wrong and already predisposes me to want to slap him across the …

Not reading the T&Cs (Mistake #43)

They’re boring, aren’t they, the terms and conditions to writing competitions. Life’s too short to read them, really. It’s time wasted that could be directed towards writing. They’re written in legalese, and that’s impenetrable, isn’t it. Bi-ig yawn. And they can’t be that bad, anyway. You’re not going to be asked to sign away a …

Anniversary! (Mistake #42)

It is the anniversary of this blog. On 28th February 2010 I made this deposit on the blogosphere — and I refused to clean it up. Gratitude eternal to first-writer-to-comment Lorraine Mace for posting what she posted and not, say, ‘Sigh. Not another writing blog.’ So, ‘anniversary’. ‘The date on which something occurred in a …

Do I like it? Not alot (Mistake #41)

I’m a reasonable man. Pay taxes. Smile at checkout lady. Drop coins in charity boxes. Hold door open for elderly people. Buy my rounds. Check, check, check, check, and check. So why, when I’m presented with the following, do I get the fleeting urge to jab out my eyeballs and stir fry them over a …

Revealing all your clients (Mistake #38)

What follows may come across as uncharitable towards other writers. My defence is that you’ve got to protect your own interests in this game, and while I wholeheartedly endorse scratching other writers’ backs and sharing your knowledge, as I like to think I do here, a little part of you should remain unashamedly selfish. There …

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